Bedtime Buggin'

Our three-year-old has entered into a phase of refusing naps and resisting bedtime. We have our routines down pat for both-but suddenly he's just not that into going to bed, at any time of the day. We're in that tough spot-the place where he no longer WANTS the nap, but he NEEDS the nap.

On a day that he gives into his body and falls asleep for the afternoon nap, he sleeps hard for 2-3 hours, and then is his normal happy, funny, bubbly self until a bedtime of 8-8:30. On a day when he does everything in his power to fight the sleep, and turns into barbarian toddler at our mere suggestions to take a nap, he is a complete mess by 6 pm, and is typically in bed and sound asleep by 6:30. I'm not talking about just being tired without a nap, I'm talking falling down, drooling, slurred speech, no appetite, dizzy, meltdowny kid, to whom we say "No", "Stop", "Don't" and "Take a time out" to more times in that last barely functional hour than we say those things in a normal week (with naps). While sometimes the early bedtime is nice, because it allows for a bigger chunk of adult time in the evenings, it also is a problem. Like if we want to go out to dinner, have friends over in the evening, or go for a walk to the park after we eat. And, on nights that my husband has to work late, that early bedtime means little or no Daddy/kid time, which they both really enjoy.

Bedtime has been another big battle for us lately. I should say here that he's been going to bed, in his own bed, by himself with a good routine, since he was a year old, so this part isn't new at all. The new part is the procrastination of sleep. Anyway, not sure if it's a developing imagination about shadows, ghosts, bumps in the night, or just that he wants more attention now that he's got a baby to share the spotlight with-either way, it seems that we get through our routine (bath, brush teeth, potty, pajamas, story, lights off, fan on, sing a song, tuck in, hug, g'night) and he whines, cries, yells, screams, kicks, and carries on and wants us to check on him. So we do, and there are demands-some more ridiculous than others, but usually anything from a recollection of a nightmare that he just wants to recount with us, to wanting a hug or a drink of water. Another fun game he likes to play is "Get ___ outta my room." It started with his books-we think he had a nightmare about the Cat in the Hat, so he doesn't like them in his room at night sometimes. Then it was his clock, which I told him I wouldn't take out of his room, so he climbed up and removed it himself-so now it's in the hallway, ticking away. The latest is that he doesn't like his curtains (Why not? They're happy! With orange and green cartoon hippos on them!) and he wants them out of his room, along with "Da button up 'dere. Take it outta here." Meaning the smoke detector. Ummm...No. I explained that those things are part of his room, and cannot be removed, sorry, no dice, go to sleep. Already. And these kinds of shenanigans will carry on for hours. We've tried going along with him, ignoring him, letting him cry, checking on him but not actually entering the room, time out, taking privileges away, and none of those are working.

Now that you've read all that fun stuff about how we got to this point, here is our newest idea: Don't Bug Me. That's right. I don't want my kid to bug me when he's in bed for the night. There, I said it. But it's true! I'm with him allllll day, and we do everything together. Sometimes we just need to see other people. Like my husband. Or Pinterest. Which is where I found the idea for bedtime passes-but I've taken this idea, and tweaked it just a smidge to include the icky-bug-boy-factor. Introducing the "Bedtime Bug Me Pass"! He's got two of them, and when the kiddo decides he needs a hug, a drink, or some random object removed from his bedroom, it costs him a pass. Once they're both gone, the next time we have to enter his room, we'll hit him where it hurts and take away his Sesame Street watching privileges for the next day. Strike two, and his CD's from the library are gone for the following day. (Nooo! Not Raffi!) Thankfully we haven't gotten to that point (yet).
So far, it's working. At naptime he lost a pass for throwing a fit, and then threw a bigger one when he lost the pass, so my husband gave him an (unofficial, of course) freebie and reminded him how the new system worked. He fussed for a few minutes, but did eventually nap. Success! Bedtime tonight was similar-a bit of a fuss at first, a reminder of the pass system, and a request to "check on me!" about 5 minutes after the official bedtime. That cost him a pass, which he was less than excited about, and continued a small amount of grumping afterward, but he did eventually fall asleep. Double Success! I think he likes holding the passes because they're still a novelty with their bright colors and insect stickers on them, but hey, whatever works. Hopefully this will get us over the edge into new naptime and bedtime territory and he won't even need to relinquish them after a few nights. Fingers crossed.