The Essentials

We made a road trip last weekend for a wedding. Anyone with small children knows what a task this is, and the challenges that come with traveling anywhere with little ones.

Here are some of the things we encountered along the way-and the translation to the kids:

• A day's drive to get there = Boring! I want out of my carseat!
• Meeting extended family = Lots of hugs from folks I don't know. Is Sesame Street on yet?
• A photographer = I'm a time bomb. I can only smile for so long, and then I'm going to cry, run away or spill juice on my shirt. Or maybe all 3 at the same time.
• A wedding ceremony = Be quite AND sit still? At the same time?
• A stay in a hotel (that was more like a museum) = Don't. Touch. Anything!
• A day's drive home = I'm tired! I'm cranky! I've been good all weekend! I want out of my carseat!

All of that aside, we made it through, mostly unscathed, the hotel room and its knicknacks intact, without going insane, and managed to have some fun and enjoy ourselves along the way. A lot of this is due to being prepared, staying relaxed, and standing firm when necessary (to minimize the inevitable overdone kid meltdown).

I've come up with a list of must-haves

for anyone brave enough to embark on a similar excursion:

1. Lollipops - Need your kid to be quiet? Like right now? For a long time? Present one of these magical candies to the child, seek approval of color. Rummage in bag until object of requested color is located. Unwrap. Insert in mouth. Repeat as necessary. (And while you're sitting there in church, take a moment to pray for a short wedding ceremony without a full mass or communion!)

2. Baby Wipes - Every parent knows these have multiple uses, but just in case I've thought of one you haven't, here's a rundown. I've used them for wiping messy hands and faces, cleaning off a picnic table, in place of a Kleenex, to tame flyaway hair, to remove food stains from my own clothes, to cool down a kid with a slight fever, to pinch-hit for forgotten deodorant (Ew! I know! But it works!), to clean off the plastic side of a diaper changing pad, to get muddy footprints off my leather car seats, as a makeup removing cloth, and...of course, for the obvious reasons too.

3. Bottled Water - Buy a case, and toss it in the car. It too has magical properties-it can not only provide hydration, but a bottle with a cap will entertain a 3-year-old for at least 10 minutes with it's popping, cracking, dripping, unscrewing, filling, dumping abilities. Beyond the obvious reasons, you can wet down napkins to wipe faces if you're out of Item #2 (see above), wash hands, or make it into a very fun and spectacular treat with a bit of that powdered flavored drink mix that comes in those cute colorful little packets. Suddenly boring water tastes just like children's Tylenol from 1986. Really.

4. Fruit Snacks - These things are as resilient as cockroaches, I'm pretty sure they can survive an apocalypse. Go ahead-test it out. Leave them in a hot car. Leave them in a frozen car. Carry them in a diaper bag for a few months. Put them in your back pocket. Drop them on the floor and step on the package. Once you've done all of these things, open them up and hand them to your kiddo. I betcha they look, feel, and taste just the same as the ones you bought on sale at the store last Tuesday. 

5. Boppy pillow - Sure, they're traditionally for infant feeding, but I've got more uses for this comfy donut shaped pillow. It's an instant nap spot for your toddler when you don't have a crib available. It's a lounging spot for baby when you don't want him to roll all over your questionable hotel room carpet. It's a safety net for baby when your kid cousin wants to hold him, but isn't quite old enough not to drop baby on his head. It's a supportive neck pillow for you, when you think you can finally doze off in the car (don't worry, if you do, a voice in the backseat will scream just as soon as you close both eyes.) Extra points if you put a clean pillowcase on it before you leave town, and gold stars for spritzing it with lavender essential oil for even more sleep temptation.

6. Receiving blankets - Similar invaluable multiuse item: Changing pad. Burp cloth. Nursing cover. Play mat. Seat protector. Towel. Blanket. Back support. Wrap for dirty laundry. Bib. Bandage. Sun protector. Carseat cover. Stuffed animal sleeping bag. Peekaboo essential. Cloth diaper. And, when really in a rough spot....Toga!

7. Corkscrew - preferably the folding waiters' style. Why? So if you get stuck alone in your hotel room while your spouse is celebrating at the reception and you're on bedtime duty, at least you can open the bottle of wine you tucked in your suitcase at the end of a hard day of traveling, kids, and family. Sit, sip, relax, repeat.

Armed & Dangerous.